Today's Paranoid Rant

The American public is easily swayed into following stories with broad sweeping themes especially when it involves high profile public officials caught up in sex stings. The news cycle has been completely consumed by the Eliot Spizter Hookergate drama and there is no sign that it's losing grip on viewers. The next phase of coverage has naturally turned to the details of the woman for hire in question. I think CNN had her MySpace page up earlier this evening, no kidding.

This leads me to today's paranoid rant. I think there have been multiple occasions of the Bush administration using the news cycle to control the release of good and bad news. The recent events demonstrate the latter. Maybe its the soon to be released report refuting (again) the Saddam Al Queda link or the Commander of Central Command resigning in a apparent protest. Here is an imagined phone call that I think took place last week.

A phone rings somewhere in the Department of Justice...

DOJ Official: Hello DOJ office of Vice and Virtue.

SecDef Gates: Hey this is Robert Gates, you know the guy who took over for Rummy at DOD.

DOJ Official: What can I do for you Mr. Secretary?

SecDef Gates: Well we need to work the news cycle next week. You know get people to look the other way so we can release another one of these darn Iraq reports.

DOJ Official: Oh yeah what's this one about?

SecDef Gates: Doesn't matter, none of them vindicate this crappy policy I've been shouldered with. I'll ask the questions here anyhow. Is there any high profile investigation that you could throw out there early next week? You know something juicy that will really catch the publics' eye?

DOJ Official: We have something really big but we were going to wait to go public with it. You know until the whole thing's a slam dunk so to speak.

SecDef Gates: Hey man your president needs you. Give it up.

DOJ Official: Alright it involves the Democratic governor of New York and a prostitution ring, a really high priced whore house.

SecDef Gates: Oh I see. That will have to do. Can you get it out by Monday?

DOJ Official: I think so. We were able harvest a great deal of evidence using that improved wiretapping capability. Lots of communications involving sex for hire and the like. Should catch fire in the media no problem.

SecDef Gates: Yeah Terrorist Surveillance Program, that's rich! Well thanks for your help.

DOJ Official: Your welcome.

End phone call.